The Old Farts Surf Co. World Championship Splinter Group held held its first trials over the weekend, milking swells from the east and south for maximum exposure. Conditions were pumping but notable absence was The Young Dude for both the east and south coast swells. According to The Dude "the Young Dude is seccumbing to wine and wenches" and he had no excuse for missing the east swell on the first day of the trials. The second day perhaps was more forgivable as he hosted an AFL grand final BBQ where he and eight mates filled a recycling wheely bin with empty stubbies, and to his credit managed to go out wenching all night afterwards. "He's a chip off the old block" said The Dude proudly.
(Weapons of Choice for the Splinter Group)
The Splinter Group didn't miss the Young Dude and hasty arrangements were made to add first substitute, The Other Dude, to the trials. Although he didn't have the requisite Old Farts Surf Co. Hollow Timber Surfboard, special rule changes were negotiated to allow him to ride a 1975 triple stinger single fin that the Other Dude had faithfully restored with car bog. "It was my proudest moment", claimed the Other Dude, "to be allowed to participate in the Splinter Group Trials with my trusty spear".
(A solid slab on the outside reef)
While the old farts chewed the fat on an inside reef and entertained a a bus load of Korean tourists by going headfirst over the falls onto the reef just like Bogey and Hepburn in The African Queen, a bunch of brave boogers hit the outside reef. The lads on foam thought they would be thrown coins by the tourists, but their prone posture made it impossible for them to be noticed in the distance through the rain.
(The brave boogers went unnoticed on the outside reef)
(The Other Dude's tripple stinger single fin)
(Some dudes down the beach)
The weather cut up big time from the south for the second day of the trials and the fat was chewed at the mystical points in the early morning by The Dude and the Mexican. The Dude's desire to win had overcome his valour and the absence of the Other Dude was due to The Dude letting his tyres down so he couldn't make the event. But karma prevailed and The Dude was disqualified for not riding the requisite hollow wooden surfboard, even though he took the bombs and chewed the fat with both contestants and non contestants. The Mex declared it "was the best session ever" on his hollow timber 6'8" hollow timber surfboard which was, ironically, made by The Dude.