Papal Blessing for Old Farts Surf Co

In a spiritual pilgrimage to the Vat(ican), Old Farts Surf Co (OFSC). Spirit(ual) Director and Head Honcho of Heartwood Malt Whiskey Pty Ltd (makers of the world's best Whisky), Tim Duckett, secured what no other surf company has ever secured before -  the Papal Blessing.

(OFSC Bucket Hat Tim wore to PB's house in the Vat(ican))

According to OFSC Head Honcho, The Mexican, "we got the news late yesterday and oldfartsurfers around the world are rejoicing with their favourite Heartwood release and getting Velvet Hammered".  To mark this special event Heartwood have Unchained and Released Convicts.

According master distiller Tim "it was pretty simple really, I just rocked up and had a bit of a chat with Bene (or PB as I call him) and let him know I'd released the Vat(ican) out of Hell, he was pretty keen on getting his hands on bottle no. 666 of Release the Beast, but we didn't go that far so in true papal style he settled on the Convict Redemption".

(Four leaf coven picked in Ireland)

The Mex said "there was a rumour the four leaf coven our distiller picked up on the preceding spirit(ual) tour Ireland may have had some influence on PB's decision, but he was Pretty Mums on this.  As they say, what happens on tour .."

Fiji Episode 2 - Oldfartsurfing Research Continues

Those of you who read the first installment of oldfartsurfers Rouge (OFSC No. 45) and Mexican (OFSC No. 4) Fiji research trip might be forgiven for thinking that the Oldfartsurfer has dropped the ball on this.  The trip was in June and the first installment was in July.  The Oldfartsurfer begs your understanding as he was distracted with a big follow up research trip in search of waves and the north west passage in British Columbia and Alaska.  The Old Farts Surf Co. is relentless in its quest to find and report on the best oldfartsurfing experiences for oldfartsurfers.

(Mex numbs the tongue with Kava)

After a Kava ceremony initiation as Chief Bill of the tribe of Oldfartsurfers, The Mexican was seated on a throne wide enough to take the both bum cheeks of a 200 kg Samoan.

(Mex, aka Chief Bill, ascends the throne)

"It was a great honour to sit on the throne" said Mex, "At home I usually read a surfing mag on the throne, but there were none at hand so I had to enjoy the entertainment put on by our hosts."

(Mex helps guard the Fiji Presidents throne room)

The lack of door latches on throne rooms in Fiji and the plethora of coups meant that the boys  and support crew had to be constantly on their guard. "Bula is the word" said Rouge, "It is a friendly greeting and a way of saying everything is good.  We repaid our hosts generous hospitality by helping out with guard duties.  Mex even helped out guarding the throne room of the Chief of Chiefs, The President"

(One of our Fijian hosts guards Chief Bill's throne room)

After the massive surf of the oldfartsurfer's arrival day and the subsequent induction of Chief Bill, the oldfartsurfer's set about finding surf suitable for oldfartsurfers.  Key criteria were discussed over an evening gin and tonic but they forgot to make a record.  "I think we thought we should look for a place to surf where it is easy to paddle out, easy to catch a wave, is uncrowded, has a comfortable place for support crew to shop and have lunch whilst still affording photo opportunities"  said Mex.

(Sigatoka river mouth)

Mex and Rouge set out on their never ending research quest for oldfartsurfing waves.  The first port of call was Sigatoka where they called in to a local cafe to ask directions.  This is where they met a bloke/sheila called Mary.  "Mary was full of good ideas and, for a small deposit he/she was quite happy to set us up our own surf guide, and for a little bit extra we could get just about anything we wanted" said Rouge.  "Mex was desperate for a wave and was all for paying up but the absence of the guide made me hesitant.  We left Mary and with the help of some locals we found our way to the famous Sigatoka river mouth but it was maxing out at a messy 10' with murky brown water that wasn't particularly inviting"

(Brave Rouge paddles out alone)

"Eventually we found a break that satisfied nearly all the oldfartsurfing criteria" said Rouge.  "It was out the front of a resort called 'Hideaway', the staff were pretty friendly and they let us through the property to surf."

(a Hideaway barrel waiting for those who dare)

"I thought it looked pretty sketchy on the first day so I opted to take the role of official photographer"  said the Mex.  "It was pretty messy from the cross shore wind, it had a mean looking rip going out through the pass and it looked shallow.  I always take Clint Eastwood's advice on these occasions 'a mans gotta know his limitations'".  So brave Rouge paddled out alone.

(Rouge taking off, Hideaway)

Rouge caught a few of the smaller waves and while he was out there the resident surfers started to emerge and build their own courage.  They told Mex that they had been waiting for the high tide to put a bit of water over the reef.

(Rouge paddles over a throaty barrel)

According to the Mex "Rouge really put on a show of expert oldfartsurfing, he showed all his skill and experience taking off over coral that he developed surfing Red Bluff and Indonesia in the seventies."

As mentioned earlier, Mex and Rouge were on a mission to find the ultimate oldfartsurfing wave.    According to Mex "Hideaway ticked a lot of the boxes, it was easy to paddle out, it was uncrowded, there was shopping and a restaurant for the support crew and the outdoor cafe provided shelter from the rain and the sun while they sipped aperitifs and took photos of the boys".  The takeoff could be steep and the Mex managed to lose a bit of skin on the coral.  "Losing the skin wasn't such a worry, it grows back, but it was the damage done to Bob the Bobsled's nose that had me worried, he had to be checked into the Dude's hospice for oldfartsurfcraft for a nose job when we got him home" said the Mex.

(Bob the Bobsled's Hideaway nose job)

"The second session at Hideaway was a little more sedate" said Rouge, "the swell was smaller and cleaner, and even the rain didn't deter Mex from mixing it up out there.  There were a few other guys in the water to keep us company, all friendly.  I paddled over the channel and caught lefts to myself which was fun and the support crew managed to capture it in pixels, I was stoked".

(Hideaway right in the rain)

(Rouge goes left, Hideaway)

(Hiding away in the barrel)

(Rouge with the grin of a stoked oldfartsurfer)

After the surfing Rouge, Mex and the support crew partied hard at a Bula night.  "Much Kava was consumed, food eaten, drinks drunken and dancing done, not a bad spot for oldfartsurfers" said Mex.

(Mex, Rouge and support crew out on the Kava)

(Rouge and Mex dancing with the locals)

(The locals dancing for Rouge and Mex)

(Fiji night cap)

(Rouge Kava's it up in Bula style)

Click here to see the previous installment of the Fiji Series.
While in Fiji Rouge, Mex and support crew stayed at the Holiday Club Fiji Palms resort.
Please leave comments below for all to enjoy.
Click here to email the Oldfartsurfer.

Rouge & Mex Greeted by Massive Fiji - Part 1

Intent on undertaking valuable research on surf locations suitable for oldfartsurfers, Old Farts Surf Head Honcho, Mex (OFSC No. 4) and Rouge (OFSC No. 45) planned an expedition to Fiji.  After surfing the southern Tassie points earlier in the week, the boys arrived on the 8th June expecting to see the same swell hitting Fiji and the WCT contest at Cloudbreak.

(Coke head Rouge psyches up for a big surf)

Travelling from the airport at Nadi along the Coral Coast in the back of a van with no shock absorbers, Rouge could see the swell hitting the reefs and remarked "looks like a bit of swell".  What the boys didn't know was that the swell was peaking at around 20' at that moment and according to the Mex "all reports said it was the most perfect wave of that size has ever been ridden".

(Mex Kavas it up and metamorphoses into Chief Bill)

The Mex and Rouge had been tempted to surf the WCT but Rouge said "Mex and I, along with the Dude (OFSC No. 12), who at the same time was doing his own oldfartsurfing research in Sri Lanka, had withstood the lure of competitive surfing in order to dedicate ourselves to researching suitable locataions for oldfartsurfers."

(Chief Bill of Australia, New Zealand, France and Mother England channels a Buttons Kaluhiaokani)

"Having a big swell waiting for us we were keen to take advantage" said Mex.  "Oldfartsurfer research invariably involves keeping the missus happy, so we'd booked ourselves into a comfy looking resort called the Fiji Palms with nearby shopping" explained Mex. "Once the ladies were settled we went off to talk to the local village chief about access to the local break"

(The real Buttons, no that's Rouge)

"The local chief insisted on a big welcoming kava ceremony and Mex was dobbed in to represent us as the Chief of the village of Australia, New Zealand, France and Mother England" said Rouge, "a task he performed admirably."

(Fans gather on the shore as the boys prepare to paddle out)

With fans eagerly waiting for the boys to paddle out they donned their life vests and were taken out to the waves in boats provided by the local village.  "I was pretty nervous as we prepared to go out" said Mex,  "then I saw Rouge with a thousand yard stare like a man about to meet his destiny and new everything would be OK."

(A messy big right hander at Sigatoka river mouth)

(With a 1000 yard stare Rouge dons a vest and Old Farts Surf Co. bucket hat for safety)

(Rouge in OFSC bucket hat on the way out the back in the long boat)

(Local crew follow the boys out to check out the action)

Once out the back the biggest and best wave of the day came through.  "True to oldfartsurfer etiquette, it was declared a team wave" said Rouge, " and we both took the big drop together."

(Leap of faith, Rouge and Mex take big the drop on a team wave)

"After coming off the bottom we both got the biggest barrel of our lives, easily big enough for both of us!"

(A barrel big enough for two, Rouge and Mex cling to the wall)

After catching the wave of the day Mex said "we paddled back in to the local village, there was a bit of a fanfare going on and the local chief was preparing the village for a big party for us.

(Bob the McTavish Bobsled gets a nose job)

Not everything was hunky dory though,  According to Mex, "Bob my trusty McTavish bobsled had received a bit of treatment on the reef.  It was sad but mendable".

(Fanfare for our heroes)

Read the next installment to find out about the party and a bit of a coup.

Please leave comments below.

Click here to contact the Oldfartsurfer.

Moose's Super Mum in Hawaii

The Oldfartsurfer has to state here and now that THIS IS NOT A SUP BLOG.  Just because we've published two blogs in a row featuring oldfartsurfers riding SUPs along with previous features of Oldfartsurfer No. 6, Spot, and the Oldfartsurfer No. 4, Mex, riding SUPs, doesn't mean that we have departed from our fundamental value of STAYING STOKED on surfing.  However, staying stoked sometimes involves all manner of oldfartsurfcraft and this time we are honoring Oldfartsurfer No. 33, Moose's Mum (MM), aka Supermum, or Superb Susan.

(Moose's Mum paddles out)

Having toured Australia a couple of years ago and learnt to surf under the tutelage of Spot on an east coast oldfartsurfsurfari, MM has pursued a range of endeavours including marathon running in a quest to get stoked surfing.  She recently undertook an expeditionary oldfartsurfsurfari to the home of modern surf stoke, Hawaii, in order to hone her oldfartsurfing skills.  "I'm planning to take on Sunset and Pipe next year" said the supermum.  "After that I plan to paddle into Jaws".

(Moose's Mum paddles in)

MM is planning to prepare for these feats by competing in the Hawaiian Ironman Triathlon.  "'The fitter you are the more stoked you can be' is my motto" said the supermum, "staying stoked is all about wave count and wave size". Her theory is that the fitter she is, the more big waves she can catch, and we can't argue with that logic.  Old fart Surf Co. Head Honcho, the Mex, said "MM is an inspiration to oldfartsurfers around the world, its never too late to start surfing and getting stoked"

Please lease comments below.

Click here for  previous related article.

Click here to contact the Oldfartsurfer.

Spot & Moose Redefine Mavericks

After conquering Canada, popular oldfartsurfers Spot (OFSC No. 6) and Moose (OFSC No. 5) heard there was a big swell headed towards Mavericks.   Spot was keen to take off behind the peak on some 20' bombs and Moose was keen to show her new big wave style.

(Huntington Beach)

Our team landed in LA and asked the local cab driver to take them to the big surf.  "He dropped us off at Huntington Pier" said Spot, "there was a bit of a ripple so we shot (from) the pier."  "It was really cool" said Moose.

(Venice Beach)

"After Huntington we hitched to Venice Beach for a romantic pre-Mavericks sunset" said Moose.  "That really set the mood for what was to come."  They got so moody in fact the then decided a detour via a Chateau Montelena.

(Chateau Montelena)

"We liked the wine so much we thought we might buy the Chateau" said Spot.  Moose said "the Chateau Montelena 1973 Chardonnay was exquisite and we spent the afternoon sculling down two bottles of the beautiful stuff".  "In the end we decided not to buy the Chateau because it had a really stupid philosophy of 'making best period' - go figure, I think the best period is the one we are in now" said Moose.  "Although it could get better" suggested Spot.  Quietly they both agreed that the pinot noirs didn't hold up to the Winstead pinot 1994.

(Spot at redefines Mavericks)

After sculling the two bottles of 73 Chardonnay and gorging on cheese Spot and Moose slept soundly and prepared their minds to take on Mavericks the next day.  There has been no further word on how they tackled the great wave although rumour has it that Spot has changed perceptions on what real surfing is in waves of consequence.

Click here for the previous installment on Spot & Moose in the New World.

Click here to tell the Oldfartsurfer what you really think.

Rouge's Tour of the South Coast

It seems that the oldfartsurfers are striking out on surf tours all over the globe.  Not only did Mex and the Dude hit the wild west coast, but simultaniously, oldfartsurfer Rouge (OFSC No. 45) hit the soulful south coast.  So soulful in fact that he wasn't content with just a weekend but got right into the local oldfartsurfing culture and decided to stay for a fortnight.

(south coast soul, you could stay for a fortnight)

 "Just back from two weeks on the soulful south coast" writes Rouge, "so many surf spots its easy to find an uncrowded wave".  "I had two surfs a day for two weeks, fittest I have been in years, hope I can preserve some for Easter"  he says.  Easter! That's right, another tour of the secret island to the south.  "We've been trying to keep it a secret" said OFSC Head Honcho, Mex, "but the word is starting to leak out."  The surf is predicted to be epic and the beer will be fresh on tap.  When the Dude heard the news, all he could say was "its still Christmas long service leave, go back and do some more research". 

(Superfit Rouge showing his south coast soul style)

Apparently Rouge has started a an old fart movement on the south coast as according to a secret source there are "lots of classic style surfers, with several guys riding single fin 9' boards, half a dozen SUPs and a couple of kneelos".  The Mexican welcomed the news as " wonderful, I hope they're all still stoked".
Click here for a previous related story.
Click her to tell the Oldfartsurfer what you really think.

2nd Annual Invasion Day Tour of the West Coast

The Mex (OFSC No. 4) spent the evening of the eve of the 2nd Annual Invasion Day Tour of the West Coast packing and double checking that all things surf were in the back of his trusty Subaru.  "I didn't want to get there and find I'd left my wet suit behind or something stupid like that" said the Mex.  Creature comforts were considered secondary but he did manage to pack an air mattress to protect his aged bones from the cold hard ground under the tent floor.  he was packing the night before as its a five hour drive to the west coast and the boys wanted to get away early to enjoy an afternoon's surf in the predicted 2m swell and offshore easterlies. 

(Evening Stroll, Day 1)

Mex arrived outside The Dude's (OFSC No. 12) palace at 7:30 am to find the surfing stalwart almost comatose in a chair in the driveway.  "What's up?" asked Mex concerned for his fellow surfing tourist.  "Moo Flu" groaned The Dude.  Mex loaded the suffering Dude into the trusty Subaru and they began the 2nd Invasion Day Tour. As the journey progressed the Dude slowly came round and it turns out that he has a secret life as one of society's most sought after avante garde authorities on fine art and was invited to the VIP opening of MONA, the art worlds newest and greatest private art gallery.  The gallery owner, a private billionaire, had sought the Dude's personal advice on his collection.  "This was to affirm his personal art choices to boost his expensive ego in preparation for potentially soul crushing bitchy reviews from art critics who think there isn't enough pink in today's art collections" said the Dude.  It turns out that the Dude was pretty impressed with the gallery saying "it wasn't just the free Verve and Moo Brew that I was impressed with, I told him he got the mix right as there were lots of rude bits, macabre images and inexplicable sculptures thrown in to bamboozle the public and con the critics."  "My favourite was the little dudes hanging out in the building services as living art, and, don't forget the poo machine, which I was told by the owner, managed to drop one every hour" he said.  The Dude's conclusion, "definitely better than the Guggenheim in Bilbao".

(Dawn Day 2)

The boys arrived at the coast early afternoon on Day 1 only to find that the wind had inexplicably turned onshore.  They surfed a small fat alternative alternative that was protected from the wind, the Mex even managed to make a complete nit of himself on Sammy the SUP while the Dude dosed his Moo Flu with a bit of salt water.  That evening a counter meal of fresh flake at the local pub washed down by a couple of beers and the boys couldn't wait for it to get dark so they could get to sleep early and get up fresh for a surf the next day.  The Mex thought he had packed a single air mattress, however, when he pumped it up it turned out to be a double which covered the whole tent.  Not wanting to appear too cosy, the boys top an tailed their sleeping bags, however, as they tried to settle for the night they discovered just how unstable an air mattress can be with two people on it.  A small movement by one person causes the mattress to bounce anyone else on it.  So the boys tried to sleep and not move.  The Dude did find one advantage of the mattress though, "whenever the Mex started snoring I just bounced the mattress till he stopped" he said.  "It was very effective".

(Duck diving a big fat one)

Dawn on Day 2 and the boys were into a 2m west swell and off shore breeze.  A couple of two hour sessions each and they were knackered.  "The waves were big enough to give you a nice drop and a bit of speed but fat enough to make it easy for the oldfartsurfers to paddle in to" said the Mex.  "Just perfect" said the Dude over a post surf cuppa tea.

(Fans arrive by sea and by land)

The third day was forecast to be onshore and raining so the oldfartsurfers packed up and drove home for a comfy mattress and the good women.  "Another successful tour for the oldfartsurfers" said the Mex.  "I could get used to this".  "More research" said the Dude.

(The lefts were the best)

(West Coast Nessy the kelp monster, soon to be seen rotting art at MONA)

(Two lefts)

(Oldfartsurfers prefer big fat peaks)

(Team wave, sharing and caring)

(The Dude recovering from Moo Flu and a couple of big sessions)

Click here for the previous related installment.

click here to tell the Oldfartsurfer what you really think.