Gratuitous Big Wave Video

The Oldfartsurfer has got tired of waiting for waves so has resorted to blatent ripoff of bigwave video from a corporate giant.  This is insane stuff, particularly the opening wave of Marti Paradisis at Shipsterns Bluff, Tasmania.  How he jumps off that ledge and sneaks under megatonne lips I don't know.  Just crazy.
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Snail's Happy, Reveals Secret Spot

The Oldfartsurfer has always maintained that the secret to happiness is to be easily pleased.  Which is why he was warmed to the cockles to receive a letter of appreciation from Legend of the surf, Snail, for the article "Snails Head Gets Barelled" oldfartsurf.blogspot.com/2009/10/snails-head-gets-barrelled.html that featured Snail's head getting barelled with some great photos to prove it.

(A gratuitous shot of Snail's head getting barelled)

The letter, in Snail's own handwriting, is faithfully reproduced here:

One of the key characteristics of Snail is that he's still a grommet at 54 years of age.  He is frothing so much about the article that he has given away the location of a secret spot and even sent an old photo.  The spot, known as "The Grange" after  Australia's most expensive wine, is only rarely surfed, as the wine is only rarely drunk, as it takes a massive 7-8m swell to push up into an estuary and when that happens every other point for 100km is also firing .  It is therefore generally only surfed by local grommets without transport.

("The Grange" firing with remains of car body in foreground)

To the Oldfartsurfer's knowledge, he himself was the first to surf "The Grange" in late 1976 in the great swell that interupted the uni swot vac and destroyed the old jetty at Sandy Bay Beach.  The preferred rare local break "Crayfish Point", with its take off point directly over the local primary treated sewerage outfall, was 8' but blown out of control.  The Oldfartsurfer went exploring further up the estuary and found "The Grange" about 4' and protected from the wind by the local cliffs.

("The Grange" in mid shot from Macho's 4 seater, "Crafish" in the distance)

On a mission of nostalgia, at great expense to the Old Farts Surf Co., the Oldfartsurfer employed the flying power of Macho and Macho to take a flight over the fabled point breaks "The Grange" and "Crayfish".  The aerial view revealed the bottom shape beneath the water and proved that, like any high class lady, a good bottom shape is essential to high performance when the swell finally arrives.  Its a pity that these waves don't get the swell they deserve.  Snail and the Oldfartsurfer are two of the very few who were pleased to have tasted these beauties.

("Crayfish Point" with its primary treated sewerage treatment plant, waiting for swell)

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SUP Invasion of Local Point Break

It was a warm spring day and the Mexican thought there might be a bit of swell so he thought he'd check out his local.  "The Dude was busy with a BBQ and Macho was on a family surf trip so I had to go without a surf buddy" said the Mex.  "But when I got there there was this bloke riding one of those SUP things.  I thought I ruled this place with the Mal but this guy was picking up ripples way out the back"  the Mex went on.

According to the Mex hethese photos as evidence of the event for reference and localism.  "Not only was there a SUP out there but some Dude on a Kayak" exclaimed the Mex.

Utes, Roos, Snakes and Fat Peaks

This started out as a pretty promising trip to a secret island surf spot to the south.  A mate of a mate said the banks were good, the swell was forcast at 3m, a good solid size for the middle bay , and a light offshore.  The Young dude seccombed to beer and wenching leaving the Dude and the Mexican to catch the first ferry to compete in the fifth round of the Old Farts Surf Co. Splinter Group World Surf Championship.

(Eating dust of the lead ute looking for car raping roos, if he hits one he'll be roo-uted)

Getting off the ferry the boys ate the dust of a ute that was travelling just fast enough not to be overtaken as the Old Farts Surf Co. team high tailed it south at as fast as they could.  Ominous road signs of sex crazed kangaroos humping cars that went slower than 45 km/hr primed the adrenalin for the surf and kept the car moving.

(Fat peaks and spectacular scenery)

The Dude fish tailed and down the dirt road and pulled up nicely with a 30m gravel slide into the car park.  The boys threw open the doors and left them swinging as they raced over the hill to see the anticipated perfection.

The bay revealed the predicted swell and glassy conditions but the rumoured banks weren't there.  Instead, there were mushy fat peaks.  A quick decision was made to try the lagoon mouth in the hope that the swell was big enough and an hour after arrival the team paddled out back at the bay.

(Shoulda gone right)

"I just love a fat peak and chewing the fat out the back" the Mexican said.  An initial wave was taken by both competitors and they both blew the take off coming up laughing.  "There is no drop in rule for our competitors and team waves are highly scored for all competitors" said The Dude.  "Calling a competitor to drop into you gets you extra points" he explained.

(The Dude thinks his Patagonian Yak's wool surf suit is a bit itchy)

The Dude and The Mexican chewed the fat with a few other dudes out the back while they waited for fat peaks.  The Mexican managed a couple of good drops, getting back out the back in a strong rip next to the rocks.  Meanwhile The Dude was pre-occupied, luxuriating in his new Pategonia merino wool lined wet suit.

(A left that didn't close out)

The sea breeze came in very early so the boys decided to call it quits and catch the early ferry home to see the good women.  The Dude nearly came to grief on the way back to the gear.  "I nearly trod on a tiger snake" he said, surprisingly calmly for his near death experience.  "Fortunately I had my wetsuit and booties on but I was really worried about ruining my new wool lined wet suit with a snake bite" he finished, indicative of his pre-occupation with sheeps wool close to his skin*.

(The Mexican's super surfcraft)

*Note: The Dude is not a Kiwi.

 Click here to order your Old Farts Surf Co. hollow timber surfboard handcrafted by the mastersurfcraftsman, The Dude.

(A really fat right)

(Roos lift cars to 45 deg from dusk to dawn)

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Snail's Head Gets Barrelled

Oldfartsurfer, Snail, put on a champion performance at the mystical point on Sunday evening.  Many were calling it too difficult to ride and weren't brave enough to turn up.  However, when the Oldfartsurfer spied Snail ripping Japanese sea stars off the rocks he could tell that there was no stopping him.

(1. Snail takes off on a bomb)

Snail and the Oldfartsurfer watched a few go by and finally Snail said "that's it I've got to go out, its too perfect to resist".  So, with no one else brave enough to paddle out, the brave Snail paddled out alone.  The Oldfartsurfer raced back and got his camera to capture the moment.

(2. Snail then powers off the bottom)

Snail's weapon of choice was his Kevin 09 stimulus model, chosen for its ability to hold a line and stay on message.

(3. Snail powers off the top)

Fresh from a recent trip to Hawaii, Snail was fit and in tune with the bigger waves. 

(4. Snail powers, trims and sets up for the barrel while two birds look on)

(5. Snails head gets barrelled)

"I manaaged to get the barrel of the day" said Snail, "I was really proud that I could bend my 54 y.o. knees and crouch in the pocket" he said after completely losing his head under the curtain.

(6. Snail finishes off with a layback cutback)

The Olfartsurfer said, "I thought it was one of the most inspiring paddle outs I've seen.  There's not many others who would have paddled out in those conditions."

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The Craic is Christened

The Mastersurfcraftsman, The Dude, has finally named and christened his original 6'8" hollow timber fish "The Craic".  Regular followers of this story will remember that, for the lack of a better name, The Oldfartsurfer had unofficially and without any originality called the board The Dude board after its creator.  "Naming rights go to the creator" said the Oldfartsurfer "and I apologise for the liberties taken in prematurely naming this icon of the surfing world." he went on and on.

(The Dude and The Craic)

In a secret naming cememony, The Craic was offered as one of Huey's children.  Huey threw down a couple of lightning bolts and thundered "Nah - keep it Dude".  The Dude was thankful, telling Huey he promised not to curse him next time he had to wait more than 2 hours for a set.

(Nice bottom - The Craic was nearly named Juanita)

The Young Dude and The Mexican witnessed the ceremony and Huey was omnipresent.  "Its like having a new brother in the family" said Young Dude. "I hope the old fart gives me a crack on The Craic" he said hopefully.  Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican, said "this is a historic moment moment in the development of the Old Fart Surf Co. community."

(Beautifully crafted timber fins on The Craic)

The Dude told the legendary story of the creation of The Craic.  The Young Dude, The Mexican and Huey were spellbound as the Dude described every piece of timber glued and shaving taken and how they all came together in perfect harmony as The Craic.  He described "the magic as it took off under his feet on the first ride in 1' slop".

(The classic "crack" in The Craic)

Several pints of Guiness were drunk to honour The Craic and its creator.

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The Mexican Tirumphs for Spanish Fans

When the Mexican paddled out for the final of The fourth round of the Splinter Group World Series Surfing Championship he didn't know that members of his ever growing Spanish fan base were in the crowd to cheer him on.  The event was held in a remote secret location on an island a long way from Spain.  "I couldn't believe the effort and expense that the co-Head Honchos of the Spanish Mexican Fan Club, Juan and Juanita, went to to be here and root for me:"  said the Mexican.

(The surf on the final day of the fourth round)

The event was eventually won by the Mexican in controversial circumstances.  Some oldfartsurfer turned up late and absolutely dominated the surfing but all in vain as he wasn't riding the requisite Old Farts Surf Co. Hollow Timber Surfboard hand made by the mastersurfcraftsman, The Dude.  Initially dejected, the old fart was consoled by Juanita.  "I'd do anything to keep this event a joyous occassion just like our festivals in Spain" said Juanita.  "I didn't want anything to spoil the mood on the beach and detract from The Mexican's triumph" she said as she wrapped the dejected old fart within the warm folds of her poncho.  "At least she didn't throw tomoatoes at me" grumbled the old fart.

(The dejected old fart surfer soon to be consoled within the folds of Juanita's poncho)

The final of the event was held in clean conditions and, as has so often been the case, tthe final was a showdown between The Mexican and his Old Farts Surf Co. stable mate, The Dude.  "These guys really are masters of their hollow timber surfboard's" said the visiting Juan.  "They have taken hollow timber surfboard surfing to new levels of performance" he went on.

(Clean conditions for the final)

Juan said "ever since The Dude and The Good Woman came to Spain looking for sites for the Splinter Group to hold their world series surfing competitions we have been saving our Euro's to make the trip to the first event we could get to and see The Mexican surf.  He has been a legend in Spain ever since Cortez conquered the Incas" he said with a smile "and finally I have seen him surf in the flesh".

(Juanita: "psst Juan ... do you think my ass looks big in this poncho"

The visiting fans were surprised by the cool temperature.  "I brought my special Basque bikini to wear for the Mexican"  said a goose bumped Juanita.  "Fortunately I also brought my poncho so I could wear the bikini without getting too cold."  she said faking a coy smile.  "I was so honoured to comfort a dejected old fart surfer.  I wish it was the Mexican but he won and so wasn't dejected and that is far more important to me".

(High performance on finals day)

(Dramatic back drop on the secret island)

(Juan: "Si Juanita it is very cold but the poncho isn't big enough to cover your ass")

In his victory speech The Mexican espoused his theory of "surfing's original roots being in Spain, not Hawaii as often thought, and likened modern day big wave surfers to the early matadors, teasing, ducking and weaving around a lip as if it were a bulls horns".  "The Spanish took surfing to the New World in the Americas and, as Thor Hiedal proved, after leaning to surf from the Spaniards, the indans took surfing to the polynesian islands in huge grass SUPs to escape their conquorers" said the Mex.  The Mexican's Spanish fan base around the world has praised this theory.  "We always knew there was a connection and the Mex has shown us the way" said Juan.

(Juanita: "Si Juan, but do you think Mex will like my poncho")

 

(Some hot action on finals day)

(Juanita: "Ola Mexican")

http://www.oldfartsurf.com.au/page/surf_stuff_for_old_farts.html