Old Farts Surf Co Splinter Group to Rival ASP World Tour

Old Farts Surf Co. (OFSC) Head Honcho (HH), The Mexican, announced last night after a Board meeting of the OFSC, that the company was going to start up a splinter group to rival the ASP world tour. It is believed that the move was inspired by the rumour that nine time world champ, Kelly Slater, was working with a consortium of promotors of questionable morals to start an alternative world tour. (refer article this blog dated 31/7/09).

Photo above: The Mexican Prototype nearly ready for Splinter Group competition.

"I picked up a six pack of this new beer called Bee Sting to take up to the hallowed shaping bay for a board meeting with The Dude" said the HH. "It wasn't a bad drop, a bit over chilled, but the flavour came out by the third bottle" commented The Dude with a knowing nod of the head. The Young Dude compared it to nectar of the gods, but he'd been to the pub on the way to the Board meeting and his taste buds had bloomed earlier. The Board meeting was held specifically to discuss what the OFSC would do in the face of yesterday's announcement of Slater's rebel group. "In this surf industry with cut throat corporate strategy we have to be decisive in order to survive" said the HH. "We are going to beat Slater's rebel group to market and have the first event within a month."

Photo above: The Mexican prototype about to receive the fine touches of shaping from the Mastersurfcraftsman and his apprentice.

The OFSC Splinter Group will have an "all in the surf" format where seeded contenders will have to meet at the agreed car park to suit up and apply wax. When they get to the beach they will have to decide which peak to surf, usually one that doesn't have too many other dudes and has a bit of shape. According to the HH, "our point of difference from the ASP and rebel groups is that the Splinter Group surfers will have to ride hollow wooden surfboards made by the OFSC." "We think it will really draw the crowds who will want to see men (and hopefully one day a woman) of aged character bobbing around the beach of beautiful hollow timber surfboards".

The Mexican prototype up against the wall.

Coffee will still be served at either the Mex or Macho Cafe after morning surfs and a beer after afternoon surfs. Negotiations have already tied up three sponsored surfers for the tour and it is rumoured that The Other Dude and the Macho Dude could be signed up soon. The HH said we are looking at signing some big names like Barry Kanaiapuni, Tom Carrol and Bruce Channon.

Photo above: The Young Dude samples a Bee Sting while the Mexican explains the finer points of the new Splinter Group world championship tour.

The Macho Dude is designing a flotilla of hollow timber surfboards for the mastersurfcraftsman. Production is in full swing with the Mastersrufcratsman taking on an apprentice - The HH Mexican. The Mex pictured here putting the finishing touches to his prototype model, The Mexican.

Photos above & below: The Mastersurfcraftsman's Apprentice shaving the shape.

Rockhead declares its too late to surf!!! Surfing world in shock.

Can you imagine the surprise last Sunday after a nice little 2'-3' session at the local beach when surf legend Rockhead Gibson rolled up and declared "its too late to surf". Rockhead is the granddaddy of surf, the iron man legend and confirmed drinker of Cascade Blue cans who scorns men in pink shirts drinking poo bru. The Dude and the Mexican had just finished tearing the place apart sharing the Dudes hand made 6'8" hollow wooden fish, owning the right hand side of the peak so that none of the other dudes dared venture across the peak - those that did soon realised they were not in the same league as the original oldfartsurfers and and made a hasty retreat to the other side of the peak or sulked further up the beach. It was a cool late May, end of Autumn, Sunday afternoon needing a 4/3 hood and booties and the b0ys were about to roll out of the car park when Rocky turned up for a squiz. "But its only 3:30" said the Mex, "there's still at least an hour and a half of light and the surfs great". Rocky looked dumbfounded at such a stupid statement and said "its too late in the bloody year"

More Beer

The spoils of victory.

The Mex tastes the Byron Bay Brew

The Mex giving his opionion.

The Mexican sat at the bar nursing his glass of beer and tapped a message into his PDA: "Gouden Carolus - best beer ever made" just so he wouldn't forget when he recovered from his hangover. He also sent the message to beer drinking mates the Dude and Reeksy trying to impress. He was in Melbourne on business and and had been stood up by a mate who couldn't tell the difference between Tuesday and Wednesday to catch up for a beer. In his own mind he had impresssed the Belgium bar maid who was on her first night and learning the trade and had got her recommendation - a tripel donger - or something like that. It pale aled into insignificance when the more experienced bar maiden recommended the Gouden Carolus at $13 a small stubbie. He was on his second bottle of this Grange Hermatage of beers and the 8.5% alcohol was having its not unexpected effect on his financial prudence. Why was he drinking so much beer instead of wine these days?

This was the Mexs's third beer drinking session in 7 days. Its was all Reeksys fault. That Pom had introduced the boys to this magic stuff about a year ago. The new drug that tastes sooooo good. First of all it was the regular roudy beer tasting at the New Sydney called HOPS where brewers receive honest opinions on their pride and joy like "yer beer tastes like shit mate". Then it was the more refined (and lets not say pretentious) tasting at The Local where beer gets assessed on nose, mouthfeel, bitterness and hopiness (or was that happiness), and this is discussed endlessly. The Mex had cursed Reeksy for getting him to stand up as a newcomer make a fool of himself with his opinion of the Stone and Wood brew from Byron Bay in front of the brewer. It was easy to give an opinion sitting at the table among friends but making a public appraisal of a beer is terrifying when you don't want to imagine the brewer naked. Not all was bad though, how could it be, we were drinking beer, but there was a quiz proceeding through the night and having an expert like Reeksy and his mates on the Mex's team gave an impressive win and associated prize of - another beer!

Find out more from some dudes who are passionate about this stuff they call "social glue" and who know their malt from their hops: http://beerblokes.blogspot.com/