World Title Stress Delivers Coveted Oldfartsurfer Status to Mick Fanning

Can you imagine the stress involved in winning a world title when it comes down to the wire, the final event of the season at Pipeline needing a score of 9.5 to win in the dying seconds of the heat or its another wasted year?  This film clip from Mysurf tv beautifully captures the poignant moments surrounding Mick Fanning, his family and team as he waits and chooses the crucial wave of an approaching set.
The Old Farts Surf Co. has already anointed 11 time world champion, Kelly Slater, with oldfartsurfer status after his 11th title win (although he's old enough to qualify on age alone). However, according to Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican, "Mick's last gasp effort for the 2013 world title and, in the process, turning his whole team grey on the beach is clear justification for honouring him with the internationally coveted oldfartsurfer status."  Congratulations Mick!
Click here to view the video.

Dopey Boy and Motivation

The Oldfartsurfer has just realised that he hasn't made a post for the faithful and avid readers of this blog since October 2013.  Excuses could be made and disputed, however, there are no excuses, just a distinct lack of motivation.  In a concerted effort to remedy the problem, Old Fart Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican, has launched a detailed investigation into the source this lack of motivation.  "I left no stone unturned in my self examination in search of the truth" said the Mex. Thankfully, the oldfartsurfer had a breakthrough this morning.  According to the Mex "I was drinking coffee and reading all the important news in the comic section of the local paper after an early morning session on Sammy the SUP  when I came across this Kedulka comic that explained it all"

(In-surf pizza delivery)

"I'm obviously suffering pizza deprivation" said Mex.  "Its pizza that fuels the creative surfing juices, so from now on, whenever we feel motivation downswing in the Old Farts Surf Co. creative department, I'm going to fuel them up on pizza, go surfing and share the love"

The Oldfartsurfer suggests that if you haven't heard from us for a while, instead of writing to the editor, just get a pizza delivered to us.  We prefer a spicy Mexican with hot salami, capsicum, jalapenos, olives and mushrooms on a thin crust.

Please share comments below.

Papal Blessing for Old Farts Surf Co

In a spiritual pilgrimage to the Vat(ican), Old Farts Surf Co (OFSC). Spirit(ual) Director and Head Honcho of Heartwood Malt Whiskey Pty Ltd (makers of the world's best Whisky), Tim Duckett, secured what no other surf company has ever secured before -  the Papal Blessing.

(OFSC Bucket Hat Tim wore to PB's house in the Vat(ican))

According to OFSC Head Honcho, The Mexican, "we got the news late yesterday and oldfartsurfers around the world are rejoicing with their favourite Heartwood release and getting Velvet Hammered".  To mark this special event Heartwood have Unchained and Released Convicts.

According master distiller Tim "it was pretty simple really, I just rocked up and had a bit of a chat with Bene (or PB as I call him) and let him know I'd released the Vat(ican) out of Hell, he was pretty keen on getting his hands on bottle no. 666 of Release the Beast, but we didn't go that far so in true papal style he settled on the Convict Redemption".

(Four leaf coven picked in Ireland)

The Mex said "there was a rumour the four leaf coven our distiller picked up on the preceding spirit(ual) tour Ireland may have had some influence on PB's decision, but he was Pretty Mums on this.  As they say, what happens on tour .."

Head banging cripple Pete goes troppo

Oldfartsurfers The Dude (OFSC No. 12) and the Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican (OFSC NO. 4) were lured by a web cam and surf reports to a favorite beach break.  "Awesome" said the Dude when he got the first glimpse of a 4' set as they arrived.  "Yeah, awesome" responded the Mexican, the longest verbal conversation the pair had had during the 40 min drive.   During a quick surf check from the car park the Mexican snapped off this sequence of a cripple on a long clean left.  No further words needed, it was time to rubber up and get out there and snag a few.

Whilst the photos show blue sky and blue water, being mid winter, the oldfartsurfers had a lot of rubber to put on.  As they rubbered up the friendly cripple came up from the beach, introduced himself as Pete, and gave some friendly advice on where the best peaks were.  He then peeled back his rubber hood showed the boys a wound on his forehead where it had been driven into the sand bottom.  Whilst seeing Pete's bloody wound was a sobering reminder of the perils of being sucked into shore break barrel, surprisingly Pete said "the water's really warm".

"The water doesn't seem to warm to me" said the Dude as they paddled out.  "Warm water in the middle of winter, must be the bang on the head made him go troppo" said Mex.  More conversation than a baby shower.

Perhaps feeling guilty about what he had done to Pete's forehead, or, perhaps to protect a couple of oldfartsurfers from themselves, Huey decided to pull up stumps.  All the The Dude and The Mex got was a couple of fat takeoffs then a long wait out the back for the waves that never came.  Eventually, a couple of nods was all that was needed for the oldfartsurfers to agree it was time to paddle in.

The next day Mex received a message from Pete:

"not feeling great today after getting driven into the grey sand yesterday.  Serve myself right for not pulling out.  Luckily my neck is not too bad.  The blow was more of a brutal shove than a bang... good thing my neck has flexibility or I'd be in a brace.  Says a lot for palates.  The wetsuit hat saved my skin from being torn, but I have a neatly shaven bald patch and some nice bruising. "  

"Pulling out of a wave like that is not an option" said Mex, not even for an oldfartsurfer who could use age as an excuse to avoid a pounding."  "You would live with regrets for the rest of your life, Pete had no choice but to go for it."

(Publishers note: Pete may not have gone troppo after all, the water temperature was reported to be a tropical 13.7 degC, much higher than the 1981-2005 mean of 12.5 for this time of year.)

Please leave comments below.

Click here to see a previous related story.

A little birdie told me

(The uninspiring Entrance)

Intrepid oldfartsurfer no. 45, Rouge, is winning the Old Farts Surf co. 2013 awards for the most surfs in 2013 by an oldfartsurfer.  "Not only is he our most prolific surfer but he is also our major contributor with a never ending account of his heroic oldfartsurfcapades" said Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican.  The Dude, Macho and the Mex have had trouble finding any sort of wave to surf over the past two months and have taken to mountain bike riding in a desperate attempted to get a surf stoke.

(Out of the way Birdie Beach)

These photos came with the following comments from Rouge:
"The girls left town for their annual weekend away.  My mate Buzzy and I decided to head up the coast (1hr 20min) for some greener pastures.  We surfed The Entrance rivermouth at 7 am.  Very small and uninspiring.  then drove north another half an hour to Birdie Beach (never been there) off the national park just near Budgewoi.  One of those out of the way beaches that we should visit more often.  Beaut little 2-3' lefthanders that got faster and faster as the tide went out.  I'll take you there next time you're in Sydney"

(Oldfartsurfer Rouge at Birdie Beach)

The Mexican said "I was impressed with the Rouge and Buzzy getting to The Entrance by 7 am, the girls were away so they could have slept off the hangover, perhaps they just didn't go to bed after partying all night".  The Oldfartsurfer is Gladdened that Bob continues to excel.

(Frazer Park pumping)

Pissing down. Massive seas. 8' plus huge out of control.

This report just in from Oldfartsurfer No. 45, Rouge, about a session he had in Sydney yesterday.  The Oldfartsurfer, whilst not averse to to extending the truth in the name of a good story, decided that, in order not to destroy the pure surf stoke essence of the email, it would not be edited.  The following are Rouge's word's verbatim - honest!
"Pissing down.  Massive seas.  8' plus huge out of control.
Photos show dawn check at Palm Beach, then shots as we traveled down the coast looking for a dag.  I finally got a wave near Brownwater, at the boat ramp around the corner from Collaroy.  Never surfed their before.  The Aussie flag on the pole in the water put there by boaties to warn of hidden reef!  Looks better than it was."

(Palm Beach dawn check)

(looks better than it was!)

 

Rouge is to be commended for including a shot of his mates 9'6" McTavish Original.  OFSC Head Honcho, The Mexican said "we are rather partial to a McTavish as many of the OFSC team riders have McTavish Bobsleds.  This 9'6" McTavish Original looks the ducks guts, check out the channels in the middle of the bottom, awesome can't wait to have a crack at on of these beauties."

(9'6" McTavish Original)

In spite of the terrible conditions, Rouge is still stoked on his surfing and signed off his communique with "SRC - surf regardless of conditions!".  "Which is exactly what oldfartsurfing is all about" said the Mex.

Please provide your comments in the comments box below.

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Time to turn the page to a new month

Sadly its the end of the month for those who purchased the 2013 Old Farts Surf Co. Calendar.  You'll have to turn the page or live in the past.  No more Mexican (Oldfartsurfer No. 4) at Eaglehawk or Chief Bill to greet you as you get your breakie or settle in to the throne room.

But don't worry, it ain't all bad.  Turn the page to February and you'll find a quiver of new oldfartsurfphoto treats.  Check out the fabled Carlton rivermouth in Tasmania, Australia above, famous for high impact collisions between SUPs and mals.

You'll also find a shot of the mystical Eaglehawk absolutely going off.  (Rumour has it that the Mex and the Dude (Oldfartsurfer No. 12) shunned it this day and drove an hour north to surf a break more in line with their oldfartsurfer status - small and fat).

There is a photo the Mex took of a Guinness Book of Records world record team wave, taken from the pier at Santa Monica.  Another below of the famous Venice Beach skate bowl (designed and built by the Mex's new mate Nikolai. at least that's what Nikolai told him over breakfast after his sixth Bloody Mary at Bob Morris' Beach Cafe at Paradise Cove, Malibu).  Both these photos were taken on Mex's recent oldfartsurfresearch tour looking for the northwest surf passage of North America.

If you look carefully you'll also find Kelly Slater in a Snapper Rocks barrel at a recent Quicksilver Pro, a photo contributed by Oldfartsurfer No. 6, Spot.  A free advertising space on the 2014 Old Farts Surf Co. calender is offered to the first oldfartsurfer to post a comment at the bottom of this blog naming the date the Slater photo is on.

Go ahead, make your day, turn the page.

If you haven't got one already click here to order your 2013 Calender.

Oldfartsurfers will miss the Dunally Bakery

Over 100 homes and properties were lost in the recent Tasmanian Bushfires and some families lost all their possessions and livelihood.  Many people were lucky to escape the ferocious firestorm and communities will take many years to rebuild.

(The remains of the Dunally Bakery)

Oldfartsurfers in Tasmanian will be affected by the tragic loss of the Dunally Bakery fires.  According to Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, the Mexican, "There was nothing like having a great surf session on the Tasman Peninsular and calling in at the bakery on the way home for my favorite, the steak and peppercorn pie.  Compared to the losses and hardship affecting many people this seems trivial, however, it does provide a realistic connection with the disaster".  Other bakery favorites were the french vanilla slices, giant size chocolate eclairs or the Dude's favorite, lamingtons.   The peninsular is famous for breaks such as Shipsterns bluff, Eaglehawk Neck and Roaring Beach at Nubeena.  

(Eaglehawk firing on all cylinders)

When the road to the peninsular eventually opens up to the public the Bakery will be sorely missed by the oldfartsurfers.

Please click here if you would like to donate to the red cross Tasmanian Bushfire 2013 Appeal.

Research, Research, Research & Baby Bob Breaks Two Fins

Bizarre things can happen to oldfartsurfers who wait.  The past 24 hours has seen the Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, The Mexican (OFSC No. 4) extend his research into the worlds best whiskeys, train a potential oldfartsurfer in the fine art of getting stoked, the development of a new line of designer Jimmy Choo surf boots for lady oldfartsurfers and, tragically, this morning the Dude's  Baby Bob lost both starboard side fins.  This is why the Old Farts Surf Co. is more than just a company, it is a movement, rapidly growing with a passionate fan base of oldfartsurfers around the world who are still stoked on surfing.

(The Mex and Mr Whiskey undertaking heavy research) 

According to the Mexican "Considerable research has gone into choosing the Old Farts Surf Co. official whiskey.  One of the world's best whiskey producers, Heartwood Malt Whiskey, has been chosen as the official whiskey producer, however, the we still need to choose our 2012 official whiskey from their exquisite range" .  To that end the Mex has been putting considerable research with Heartwood head honcho, Tim Duckett.  "We have refined our search to two releases the sublime 'Convict Release' which comes in with a high but modest 58% alcohol or the 'convict Unchained' which comes in at a whopping 71.9% alcohol" said the Mex.  "With Tim's guidance I should be able to announce the winner soon."  

(Young oldfartsurfer looking pretty stoked)

According to the Mex "we have some pretty promising oldfartsurfers coming up, I've just witnessed the prowess of a young dude and he achieved a considerable level of being stoked, this is what oldfartsurfing is all about"  

(The new Jimmy Choo inspired Oldfartsurfboot)

The Old Farts Surf Co. is always looking for new, fashionable but practical oldfartsurfwear.  You would be pleased to know that we will look at a deal with  internationally acclaimed shoe designer Jimmy Choo, to market a replacement for the traditional surf ugg boot.  "I know oldfartsurfers love their uggies, however, we think this new boot will be heaps better" said the Mexican.  "It has a knitted  pure merino wool upper with a beachwear soul, that's right soul.  We are pretty excited about it and will let you know the release date of the yet to be named beach boot".  There are rumours that The Mex might call it the "Soul Boot"

(Two Heartwood Whiskey's to replace Baby Bob's two fins)

The Mexican reports that in an oldfartsurfsession this morning, "the Dude wiped out and landed on the Baby Bob's starboard fins, breaking both of them clean off."  "Fortunately there was no damage to the Dude or BB's underside."  reported Mex.  We think that the Dude might try and build a couple of his famous hollow timber fins to replace them.  This was only the third or fourth outing for Baby Bob so we send the Dude the sympathy of oldfartsurfers from around the world.

Fiji Episode 2 - Oldfartsurfing Research Continues

Those of you who read the first installment of oldfartsurfers Rouge (OFSC No. 45) and Mexican (OFSC No. 4) Fiji research trip might be forgiven for thinking that the Oldfartsurfer has dropped the ball on this.  The trip was in June and the first installment was in July.  The Oldfartsurfer begs your understanding as he was distracted with a big follow up research trip in search of waves and the north west passage in British Columbia and Alaska.  The Old Farts Surf Co. is relentless in its quest to find and report on the best oldfartsurfing experiences for oldfartsurfers.

(Mex numbs the tongue with Kava)

After a Kava ceremony initiation as Chief Bill of the tribe of Oldfartsurfers, The Mexican was seated on a throne wide enough to take the both bum cheeks of a 200 kg Samoan.

(Mex, aka Chief Bill, ascends the throne)

"It was a great honour to sit on the throne" said Mex, "At home I usually read a surfing mag on the throne, but there were none at hand so I had to enjoy the entertainment put on by our hosts."

(Mex helps guard the Fiji Presidents throne room)

The lack of door latches on throne rooms in Fiji and the plethora of coups meant that the boys  and support crew had to be constantly on their guard. "Bula is the word" said Rouge, "It is a friendly greeting and a way of saying everything is good.  We repaid our hosts generous hospitality by helping out with guard duties.  Mex even helped out guarding the throne room of the Chief of Chiefs, The President"

(One of our Fijian hosts guards Chief Bill's throne room)

After the massive surf of the oldfartsurfer's arrival day and the subsequent induction of Chief Bill, the oldfartsurfer's set about finding surf suitable for oldfartsurfers.  Key criteria were discussed over an evening gin and tonic but they forgot to make a record.  "I think we thought we should look for a place to surf where it is easy to paddle out, easy to catch a wave, is uncrowded, has a comfortable place for support crew to shop and have lunch whilst still affording photo opportunities"  said Mex.

(Sigatoka river mouth)

Mex and Rouge set out on their never ending research quest for oldfartsurfing waves.  The first port of call was Sigatoka where they called in to a local cafe to ask directions.  This is where they met a bloke/sheila called Mary.  "Mary was full of good ideas and, for a small deposit he/she was quite happy to set us up our own surf guide, and for a little bit extra we could get just about anything we wanted" said Rouge.  "Mex was desperate for a wave and was all for paying up but the absence of the guide made me hesitant.  We left Mary and with the help of some locals we found our way to the famous Sigatoka river mouth but it was maxing out at a messy 10' with murky brown water that wasn't particularly inviting"

(Brave Rouge paddles out alone)

"Eventually we found a break that satisfied nearly all the oldfartsurfing criteria" said Rouge.  "It was out the front of a resort called 'Hideaway', the staff were pretty friendly and they let us through the property to surf."

(a Hideaway barrel waiting for those who dare)

"I thought it looked pretty sketchy on the first day so I opted to take the role of official photographer"  said the Mex.  "It was pretty messy from the cross shore wind, it had a mean looking rip going out through the pass and it looked shallow.  I always take Clint Eastwood's advice on these occasions 'a mans gotta know his limitations'".  So brave Rouge paddled out alone.

(Rouge taking off, Hideaway)

Rouge caught a few of the smaller waves and while he was out there the resident surfers started to emerge and build their own courage.  They told Mex that they had been waiting for the high tide to put a bit of water over the reef.

(Rouge paddles over a throaty barrel)

According to the Mex "Rouge really put on a show of expert oldfartsurfing, he showed all his skill and experience taking off over coral that he developed surfing Red Bluff and Indonesia in the seventies."

As mentioned earlier, Mex and Rouge were on a mission to find the ultimate oldfartsurfing wave.    According to Mex "Hideaway ticked a lot of the boxes, it was easy to paddle out, it was uncrowded, there was shopping and a restaurant for the support crew and the outdoor cafe provided shelter from the rain and the sun while they sipped aperitifs and took photos of the boys".  The takeoff could be steep and the Mex managed to lose a bit of skin on the coral.  "Losing the skin wasn't such a worry, it grows back, but it was the damage done to Bob the Bobsled's nose that had me worried, he had to be checked into the Dude's hospice for oldfartsurfcraft for a nose job when we got him home" said the Mex.

(Bob the Bobsled's Hideaway nose job)

"The second session at Hideaway was a little more sedate" said Rouge, "the swell was smaller and cleaner, and even the rain didn't deter Mex from mixing it up out there.  There were a few other guys in the water to keep us company, all friendly.  I paddled over the channel and caught lefts to myself which was fun and the support crew managed to capture it in pixels, I was stoked".

(Hideaway right in the rain)

(Rouge goes left, Hideaway)

(Hiding away in the barrel)

(Rouge with the grin of a stoked oldfartsurfer)

After the surfing Rouge, Mex and the support crew partied hard at a Bula night.  "Much Kava was consumed, food eaten, drinks drunken and dancing done, not a bad spot for oldfartsurfers" said Mex.

(Mex, Rouge and support crew out on the Kava)

(Rouge and Mex dancing with the locals)

(The locals dancing for Rouge and Mex)

(Fiji night cap)

(Rouge Kava's it up in Bula style)

Click here to see the previous installment of the Fiji Series.
While in Fiji Rouge, Mex and support crew stayed at the Holiday Club Fiji Palms resort.
Please leave comments below for all to enjoy.
Click here to email the Oldfartsurfer.

Ultimate Oldfartsurfcraft Found

After endless research on behalf of the oldfartsurfers of the world, the Old Farts Surf Co. is pleased to announce the discovery of the ultimate oldfartsurfcraft.  "Its a jet propelled oldfartsurfcraft called the WaveJet" announced Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, the Mexican (OFSC No. 4).  "It is the perfect answer for oldfartsurfers with tired old arms needing a boost to get into the waves.  It is brilliant in its design having a re-chargeable power pod that can be taken off one board and put on another.  What's more they have a whole range of oldfartsurfcraft from short boards to longboards and SUP's" said Mex.

According to the manufacturers it can run between 30 min and 75 min run time and comes in models that go either 5 mph or 10 mph.  The oldfartsurfer reckons it will negate the need for jet skis at big wave spots.
A couple of big questions need to be answered before take up of the WaveJet by the general oldfartsurfpopulation, for example;  what is the danger of being hit by a riderless rampaging board? how heavy and hard to turn are they?  The Old Farts Surf Co. is in deep negotiation with the manufacturers for a test sample to undertake more research and we promise to keep you informed.
To own one of these beauties all it takes is a cool $5k, perhaps you should negotiate a deal to get a 5 board quiver.
Click here to check out the WaveJet.
What do you think, revolutionary new surf craft or the end of soul surfing as we know it?  Post your comments below.
Click here to give the Oldfartsurfer some words of wisdom.